Ministry of Motherhood study

I am currently in week 2 of the Ministry of Motherhood online bible study. I, being a person who starts one thing and usually is onto another before I finish, have set a goal to complete this study!
The simplicity of it is this: each week you have what is called S.O.A.P verses, where you study one scripture a day, write down your observations from the passage, apply it to your life, and pray over it. We do one verse a day. Simple. But so effective!
So week one was basically 5 different verses.
Week 2 was 5 more verses plus the introduction of the book (which so far in itself has been so impactful!) Sally Clarkson has a true gift!

This week I wanted to share some questions (and a few of my answers) Sally posed for us readers.
These questions really make you think!
1. What purpose do you think God had in mind when he designed the role of mother? Have you ever specifically considered that, in becoming a mother, you have actually been called to a ministry? In what way does that concept change how you think about that role?
I now know He has a bigger plan for me, but I still struggle with how I, as a sinful, impatient, issue-ridden, emotional, controlling person can raise 4 Godly children and what He sees in me that I am still trying to find in myself.

2. Read Psalm 127:3- if possible, in more than one traslation. What does this verse imply about the ministry of motherhood?
Simply-it is a gift!

3. Provebs 31:10-31 paints a vivid portrait of the life of a Godly woman. Describe what a proverbs 31 life might look like in a modern context. What parts of this description do you find particulary inspiring? Which areas pose a challenge for you? How do you think these reaction relate to your ministry as a mother?
Woman of strength and dignity and when she speaks her words are wise and kind. These both are huge challenges for me. I begin to feel weak when I feel out of control (I have control issues and am learning that I am never really in control anyways!), I am embarrased of what people would think if they really saw me in my low points during the day with the kids, I dont feel like I know the Word enough to feel wise and usually end up angry and foolish in my speaking, kindness to my children does not come easily-I am easily frustrated and angered.

4. Read Proverbs 14:1. In what specific way can a woman in this way and age build her house or tear it down? If possible, give examples from your own observations or experience. Then list four specific ways you want to build your house by ministering to your children and making disciples of them.
Use/reference and be in the Word daily
Pray continually
Put the Lord first and rely on Him
Be an example
Slow to speak, slow to anger-tame the tongue!

5. Write out a plan for ministering to your own children using the acronym GIFTS. List at least one goal for each letter.

G:Grace-give my family grace for physical, emotional and spiritual growth.
I:Instruction-Instruct my children in the ways of the Lord. "Carry out my instruction; dont forget them for they will lead you to real living." Proverbs 4:13
F:Family (still working on this one)
T:Trust- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5-6
S:Surrender- "So give yourselves humbly to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:7

If you are interested in joining this study (NO ITS NOT TOO LATE!!) visit www.goodmorninggirls.org for more info and the printouts. Buy the book (I kindled it from Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Ministry-Motherhood-Following-Reaching-Children/dp/1578565820
And let me know if you do so you can join our little group on our facebook page!

Homeschool planner giveaway!

Go check out Mama Jenn's blog for a chance to win an awesome planner!

http://mama-jenn.blogspot.com/2011/05/weekly-homeschool-planner-review.html#comment-form

Day 1 of Resurrection Eggs!

Today was Day 1 of our Resurrection eggs activity!

Last week I purchased the Resurrection Eggs from Family Christian Stores for about $13. In the package comes a plastic egg carton with 12 eggs, 1 each representing 12 days before Jesus rose from the dead.


I also planned a lapbook activity to go along with our eggs to reinforce what the girls were going to be learning. If you don't know about lapbooks here is a good place to start:
http://www.squidoo.com/lapbooking
Here is where I got some of the ideas for our Resurrection Egg Lapbook:
http://homeschoolblogger.com/jaminacema/500883/
(There are tons of resources out there on lapbooking. I love it because the kids are secretly learning while crafting...key in my house!)






moving on...

We began the lapbook, glued in our 12 paper eggs and dove into day 1 where Jesus rode the donkey into Jerusalem and the people laid Palm Fronds down for his Donkey to walk on because they believed He was there to save them.
I wont tell you what was inside Day 1's eggs in case you like surprises :) But maybe you shouldnt look at this picture:



We are excited to keep up with this and continue it for the next 12 school days (which will take us right up to Easter)

Thanks for looking!

My ABC Bible verses

Today we dove into letter A of MY ABC Bible Verses!
If you havent checked out this book it is great for preschoolers (my Kinder loves it too) when telling stories about being good disciples of the Lord in their own terms. The stories are short, easy to remember and ask simple questions that the kids can memorize.
Today was Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath.."
The story was about two little girls who, with the help of the Holy Spirit, were able to avoid an arguement over their dolls by soft and gentle answers.

So, we made dolls!
I have to admit I planned this this morning and happened to go by Joanns for inspiration where I found clay doll forms on clearance for $2.97! The girls, with a lot of my help, were able to create clay clothing for their dolls and decorate them. When they were done we baked the dolls to "set" the clay.
Through it all, I wanted to remind the girls that their new dolls were fragile, and were reminders that we are all fragile and can be broken by harsh words.
So far...so good!

we made it!

Through day 2! Haha! May not seem like a big deal to some, but we have a REALLY bad habit of leaving the TV on just for background noise and wow what a peaceful change!

I know its only been about 3 days, but I have seen the biggest difference with my kids! They actually seem to be getting along better, finding things to do without whining, and enjoying the no TV time!

Last night we did decide to have a family movie night. The girls traded their hard earned chore reward stickers for a family movie in the living room complete with meatball subs and ice cream sundae's!

I feel blessed that so far this transition is going well. My prayer is that it will make an everlasting affect on our household...and in the meantime help with some better focus during school hours!

1 day down, 39 to go...

we did it, for one whole day we did not watch tv. No Dora, no Wonder Pets, no Max and Ruby...nothing! And surprisingly, once we got through the morning hump of breakfast cartoons, it was all good!
The kids actually READ during resting time and one fell asleep!
It was the most peaceful day we have had in a long time just not having the TV available! It was actually more peaceful for me as well. I thought I would have a hard time finding something for the kids to do, but low and behold, they actually kept themselves entertained for most of the day.
We played outside, took a walk, played playdough, blocks, pulled out some hidden toys we hadnt seen in a while, danced to music, read books, played Barbies...the point is...it was refreshing to see my kids imaginations take over the TV's version of imagination.
So, here we are at day 2. I see the park in our future today. And hopefully more of the peace we found yesterday (despite the fact that my 4 year old woke up in a tantrum), I have faith!
Hope all you lenters out there are staying strong as well!

Fasting...

Ok, so I knew it was time for lent. Why? Well because my facebook friends told me so. I know, I know, not the best way to be reminded of this important time for me and my families faith, but hey....at least I know now!
Anyways, I was being called out by the holy spirit to choose SOMETHING to fast from....
starbucks-done that,
ice cream-been there (and it's not going to happen while I'm pregnant!).
I've fasted before, and boy does it work, it changes your entire perspective on life, God and where your faith stands!
So, what do I need to work on the most? Where is my biggest area of weakness?
Finally it came to me...my kids!
As we sat at our amazing life group last night, the Holy Spirit yelled in my face...fast from tv! What?
Ok, really? Tv? Of all the things I could work on it's that? Ok God...let's go!
Why tv you ask? No, I am not a tv junky. No, I do not watch The Real Housewives of Everywhere. I only watch tv at night for some downtime, and really, it's for an hour or so. So...why tv? Well, because I use it to suffice my kids.
Good morning!
Would you like a bowl of Special Agent Oso or a bet of Olivia for breakfast?
I'm tired...nap time!
What movie do you girls want to watch?
3:00 last push through the day...DORA!
Got it? It's become to easy to put them in front of the tv, I'm done.
Partially because when we got up this morning our usual routine was disrupted by a busted cable box. Yup! If that wasn't God speaking to my family I don't know what it was! (maybe an old cable box....but I'm gonna stick with a power higher than Cox Communications).
So, here we go, a day late, but not one bit of faith short. Can we do this? I hope so! Will we do this? Only by the Grace of God! How will we do this? Faith, Prayer and Trust in the Lord.
Amen. And good luck!

Confession time! Its a big one.

Before I start, I have to be honest (that's probably a good thing as I start a confession), I wrote this over a week ago as I sat frustrated with my struggles. After I wrote it, I did not publish it, as I found immediate relief from just putting my struggles into words. I thought to myself, "maybe I am not supposed to share this, but what would the Lord want me to do?"
So, I did what any curious person would do...I googled it! I ran across a blog that had every one of my questions answered.
I want to say now that if you struggle with a weakness and you are afraid to share, read this blog, it will inspire you and strengthen you.
(go to day 35)
www.steph-lifespurpose.blogspot.com

I realized that God is using my weakness to grow me, and to witness to others. My hope is that by sharing, and being vulnerable (which I am really bad at being) that the Lord will use me to bless someone else, as well as learn about myself. I will now depend more on HIM to help me grow.
"At some point in your life, you must decide whether you want to impress people or influence people. You can impress people from a distance, but you must get close to influence them, and when you do that, they will be able to see your flaws. That's okay. The most essential quality for leadership is not perfection, but credibility. People must be able to trust you or they won't follow you. How do you build credibility? No by pretending to be perfect, but by being honest."

Ok, this is a big one for me. This is a confession about something

I have been struggling with for a long time...too long.
But first, a little background about me for those who dont know:
I am an only child
I grew up in a single parent home
I was a latch-key kid for most of my schooling life
I started work at 16 and was working full time at 17, supporting my mom who had been injured at work and was no longer able to make an income
We had to leave my childhood home when I was 18 and moved to San Marcos
I worked to help support my mom until I was 20 and then moved out with Nathan, we bought our own home.
We lived together before we got married
I moved out 6 months before we got married to make things right with the Lord
My mom struggles with perscription medication addiction and depression
I suffered from depression for a year after Camryn was born and took medication for it
I love my kids and my husband more than the world!
I homeschool and I love it! God is good for leading me here

I suffer from a phobia: I live in constant fear that my kids will get sick.

Wow. That was rough.

So, this is me. I live in fear. I constantly worry.

It is not worry that my kids are sick, I can deal with a runny nose here and there and some other "things", it is the anxiety that comes before, that they will get sick. It is the anxiety that another one of my kids will catch it. It is the worry that I will get it and wonder how I will take care of the kids if I am sick.

This issue stops me from doing things I would normally do.
It effects whether or not I go to church.
It effects where we go.
It effects what we eat, drink, and do on a daily basis.

I love to be out and about with my kids, but when this fear is elevated, it keeps me home, locked up like a prisioner. What causes this irrational fear to elevate? I dont know.

The reason I have decided to share this is because I figured the first step to recovery was admitting I had a problem.
I have kept this a deep dark secret for a long time. Sure, many of you see me take extra steps to keep my kids clean and germ free...hand sanitizer here and there, excessive washing, etc. Sure you can say I am a germ-a-phobe..arent most of us? But, it goes deeper than that.

It festers inside of me.

The minute someone has snot, I worry.

The minute someone complains of a tummy ache, I worry.

And it is not just worry. It has friends...Mrs. lack-of-compassion and Mr. Anger.

I find myself worrying so much that I snap at the kids, bombard them with questioning, constantly try to reassure myself that they are ok, its just gas, its just teething, etc.
If they are sick, I bombard myself with reasons why...replay things in my head, talk them outloud:

"Well they may have had bad fruit"

"Well she did put her mouth on the monkey bars"...

My mind doesnt stop.

Need I go on :)

The only thing I ask through this post is your support. Please dont alter who you are around me, please dont keep you and your kids away from us, please dont judge me for being vulnerable. I know that this is partially an issue of control. I have always had or been in control of what my kids do, eat, see, who they play with, what they play with, on and on. I cant control illness...but I shouldnt try.
I want my life to be normal and in no way do I want special treatment. I just want to heal. I want to let go of this fear, anxiety, frustration, anger. I want to be free. I want to have peace.

I received these verses from a very supportive person and want to share:

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you. Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)



The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid? (Paslm 27:1)



Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)


Please pray for me. I will also pray for you. Feel free to share your confessions here as well, we all have something to heal from.